


My Snake and Me

by muzakchan



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Cute, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead Of Being Productive, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 09:27:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19373920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muzakchan/pseuds/muzakchan
Summary: Gabriel drops in on Aziraphale (and unbeknownst to him, Crowley) for a quick chat.





	My Snake and Me

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [this tumblr post](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/493345) by patricianandclerk. 



> A quick little fluff piece :D  
> (I wrote this instead of working on my longer piece because we all need breaks sometimes)

It had been a year since Armageddon (or Armaged _don't_ , as the Them had started referring to it as; Aziraphale found the word play delightful). Neither angel nor demon had heard anything from their respective sides, solidifying Crowley’s theory that they were now indeed on their own side. 

He’d moved into the bookshop after two months. 

“No, angel,” Crowley had protested. “The _last_ time you were here without any backup, the shop burned down.” _And I thought I’d lost you forever._

“Oh, but Crowley,” Aziraphale had fussed. “What if they _do_ show up, and you’re here? They might…,”  he trailed off. _Destroy you,_ he finished in his head. 

Despite being on their own side, there were still things they didn’t say out loud. 

Crowley had left for two days, which Aziraphale had used to clean the shop from top to bottom so he didn’t have to worry about bigger things than dirt stuck in the grout on the floor. 

When the demon returned, he had arrived with a Bentley full of heat lamps, two plants (from his personal garden; they’d had _spots)_ , and what looked to Aziraphale to be a large stick. 

“Look, angel, if you don’t want me here because Heaven _might_ show up, that’s fine,” Crowley huffed as he moved a plant inside. " _ **I**_ won’t be here.” He set the ficus down next to the register, then returned to the Bentley for the large stick. “But now that you don’t have Heaven to chat with anymore, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect you may have gotten lonely.” 

He set the stick down in the middle of the floor; Aziraphale realized it had a base on it. “Crowley, what…?”

Crowley beamed at him. “You got a pet!” And then he was gone, replaced by a rather large snake. 

Snake-Crowley slithered across the floor to the stand, which Aziraphale realized was actually a perch, and wound his way up to the top branch. Aziraphale stepped closer, reaching a hand out tentatively to pet him, like you would with a regular snake. Crowley’s forked tongue met his hand, giving it a small kiss. Aziraphale smiled.

It was settled. 

If people had thought A. Z. Fell’s bookshop was interesting before - from its odd opening hours to the peculiar man that ran it - the addition of the large black snake that could be seen sunbathing in the window made it an absolute _destination._ Children were particularly fond of the snake, and Crowley was fond of them. He was all too happy to slither from his perch, across their arm, and give them a small snake tongue kiss on the cheek. 

When it got colder, Crowley requested to be kept warm by Aziraphale. The angel picked him up and wrapped the snake around his neck, like a scarf. Crowley was momentarily overwhelmed by the smell of his angel - so close, so intense - but quickly settled his head on Aziraphale’s shoulder, next to his neck, allowing the steady pulse of his heart to lull him to sleep. 

And so it went. 

They established a lovely little routine: Aziraphale didn't need to sleep, but he would lay in bed reading, allowing Crowley to borrow his body heat during the night. When Crowley woke, he would slide out of bed and become human again, plodding off to the kitchen to start coffee for himself and tea for the angel. After breakfast, Crowley would become a snake again, and curl up on his perch. Aziraphale would turn on the heat lamp over him, then open the store. 

This was how their morning began on the day in question. It was a little past ten, and Crowley was fast asleep in the main foyer, dreaming of Heaven, when the door to the bookshop opened. The tinkling bell wasn't enough to wake the snake, and Aziraphale was in the back making another pot of tea. 

The guest, who was in fact the Archangel Gabriel, entered the store. He had been in this bookshop a while ago, and it looked exactly the same, with the exception of the large, iridescent snake in the corner. 

"Well, _hello_ there, handsome!" he said softly, rounding on the snake. Crowley, who was used to being admired in this form, barely stirred. Gabriel brushed his hand lightly across the snake's head, and Crowley leaned up into the touch. 

"Oh, you are beautiful," Gabriel praised, moving his hand under Crowley's head. He scratched the snake's chin, like Aziraphale did, and Crowley flicked his tongue out in appreciation. He tasted something that reminded him of Aziraphale, but was absolutely _not_ Aziraphale. 

Crowley cracked an eye. _Uh oh._

Aziraphale heard a voice from the main room of his bookshop, and bustled out with his cup of tea. "Oh, hello," he called, "Welcome to my booksh-" his sentence was cut short by his vision. 

Gabriel was scratching Crowley's chin, praising him quietly, and Crowley had one eye cracked open, looking at Aziraphale, pleading for help. 

"G-Gabriel?" Aziraphale said, white-knuckling his tea cup. “What are you…?”

"Aziraphale!" Gabriel said, patting the snake on his head. Crowley attempted to bite him, but missed. "What a _lovely_ little pet you have there!" 

Aziraphale didn't know what to say, so he nodded. 

"I just came to check up on you," Gabriel continued. 

Aziraphale found his voice. " _Why_?" Heaven had wanted nothing to do with him for the last year; why now? 

"Well, we received a report that the demon, Crowley, was still on Earth; you haven't seen him, have you?" The tone of his voice suggested his actual question was _Are you still our man?_

It was the hardest thing Aziraphale ever did to not look at the snake next to Gabriel. Crowley made another attempt to bite the Archangel, leaned out too far, and lost his balance. He fell off the perch and onto the floor, distracting both angels. 

"Oh!" Gabriel said, looking down. "Poor thing." He stooped down and picked Crowley up off the floor. Instinctively, Crowley wrapped around his hands for support, but wiggled his tail menacingly. 

"I - no, I haven't seen him," Aziraphale lied, extending his hands, offering to take Crowley from Gabriel. "Here, let me take him." 

Gabriel sighed. "That demon is slippery - no one’s seen him since Armageddon." He brought the snake up to eye level. “You haven’t seen him, have you, little one?” 

Aziraphale held his breath. Crowley opened his mouth, attempting to bare his teeth. 

“Of course you haven’t,” Gabriel smiled, kissing the snake on the top of his head. "Well, at least this trip wasn’t a _total_ waste. I got to see you, you _wonderful_ creature!" Gabriel passed a very stunned Crowley back to an equally stunned Aziraphale. "Take care of him, Aziraphale. I’ll be keeping an eye on you to make sure you do." 

Gabriel was almost out the door when he stopped and turned around to ask one last question. "I didn't even ask - does he have a name?" 

Aziraphale sputtered - he most certainly _did,_ but not a name Gabriel needed to know. "Oh, his name?" He thought very quickly. "I call him Dear, most of the time." 

"Deer?" Gabriel asked. "That's a dumb name; why not just call him Snake at that point?" Crowley, who had slithered up Aziraphale's arm and now sat perched on the angel's neck, opened and closed his mouth ineffectually. 

"Because he's my Dear," Aziraphale snapped before remembering himself. "Thanks for stopping by, Gabriel. Lovely to see you." 

Gabriel shrugged and left the bookshop. 

Crowley turned himself back into a human, causing Aziraphale to crumple under the sudden added weight. 

"I _hate_ him, Aziraphale," Crowley said, after they detangled themselves. "Did you see what he did?!?" Crowley rubbed his forehead where the angelic lips had touched him. 

"I di-" 

"He _kissed_ me, Aziraphale! Of all the angels I thought would ever kiss me, I never thought _Gabriel_ would be the first!" He made a face like he wanted to scrape Gabriel's name off his tongue. 

Aziraphale had a sudden thought. He’d had many thoughts like it before, but this one, coupled with everything else they had never said or done, broke the floodgates in his mind; there was no holding it back. He leaned over and kissed Crowley, who immediately stilled. For a terrifying moment, Crowley was deathly still, until he got a hold of himself and kissed the angel back. 

“There,” Aziraphale said softly when they broke apart. “Now you’ve been kissed by two angels. I do hope the second was more to your liking.”

Crowley smiled at his angel. “If I’d known it was going to take kissing Gabriel to get you to kiss me, angel, I would have done it millennia ago.” 

Aziraphale blushed. “Yes, well.” 

“I hope it won’t take won’t take another kiss from Gabriel to get that to happen again.” 

“My dear,” Aziraphale squeezed his hand. “All you have to do is ask.” 


End file.
